Book summary
And She Was Never the Same Again is a book about you. It is about your family and your friends. Everyone you’ve ever met, and all the strangers you have yet to meet. It takes you on a journey of gains and losses that stretch generations, cultures, identities, and decades of time. Losses that are individual and collective, death and non-death. It awakens you to the inevitable and makes you look at the things most people want to avoid seeing. It explores near-death experiences, medical, individual, and intergenerational trauma, the stigmatized death of a partner, perfectionism, death’s destruction of a family’s structure, athletics, chronic illness paired with the denial of death, first loves, identity transitions throughout life, and the gaping holes that become permanent fixtures within us when those we love the most die.
Each chapter is told through in-depth narratives crafted by weaving together key player’s perspectives as you are taken on a family’s multigenerational journey of loss. Each chapter concludes with a synthesis of how grief was manifested and maintained over time within and outside the self. It educates you on various aspects of grief and encourages you to take away questions for yourself and your loved ones.
It is not a “how-to” book. There is not just one way to grieve, and to suggest there are universal, concrete steps that must be taken discredit the human experience of suffering and the uniqueness we each embody on our respective paths through pain. You will feel, you will learn, you will grow, and hopefully, you will never be the same again.
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OFFICIAL BOOK TRAILER:
Uncertainty, unpredictability, confusion, and fear permeated the fabric of my family’s now shattered sense of permanence and safety. Everyone worried more. Everyone tried to look for signs of trouble and spot them before another disaster unfolded without warning. These newfound processes were mostly unsaid, internal, and alone. As the flames of shock died down and turned to ashes, complex grief emerged as the individual nuances of each person’s experience silently competed with one another. They all wondered how to take care of others and also how to handle themselves. Questions about whether to honor their own needs vs. ignoring them to focus on me plagued them… There wasn’t much individual compassion to be had, as everyone seemed to internalize a need for grit. They observed one another; responses being shifted as they watched the reactions of each other, uncertain of what was allowed or what the “right” way to handle things actually was, fighting inner turmoil about what to address and what to unmind.
Excerpt from Chapter 1: The Near-End of the Beginning
THE “Why”
When working with clients, I often encourage them to find their “why” for any given pursuit. My “why” for writing this book is because of how it ends. The epilogue. Her. I needed a way to keep myself busy from debilitating pain, but to somehow balance distraction with simply being with my feelings; the only true way to move through grief. I wanted to better understand why I am the way I am, and why those I love the most are the way they are. I wanted to spotlight the shadowlosses most of us don’t see or try to hide from. I wanted to tackle issues of grief and loss in a more comprehensive way so that people can call grief out when they see it and not be afraid to name it. To say the hard things they think and be with the hard feelings they feel. I wanted others to find self and other-compassion in the messy process. I wanted to honor those that mean the most to me. Most importantly, I wanted others to see themselves in these stories and become more accepting of the fact that grief never truly goes away, but we can learn to handle hard better by accepting the suffering inherent in life and the growth that is never too far behind it.
Reader’s Reactions
And She Was Never the Same Again is a powerful read for anyone who has dealt with loss of any kind. Dr. Trujillo takes a hard look at her life and the lives of her family through the lens of trauma and how it has morphed them into the people, both individually and collectively, that they are today. Each chapter examines a different difficult subject in the most heartbreaking and beautiful ways. She not only makes the reader understand the depth of the situation but she shines a light on the aftermath as well. The time after the pain, new and old, and how that changes the way you think, act, love, interact and move forward. This read shows us all that we are not alone in our grief, even if we choose to hide away from the world whilst going through the dark. Every situation we go through leaves a mark on us, allows us to prune things off, take care of other parts we want to grow stronger, and helps us become a different person than we were before. We should all strive to Never Be the Same Again.
I had the pleasure of listening to the audio version of And She Was Never the Same Again: A Multigenerational Memoir. I enjoyed hearing to Maria McCann’s narration and how she was able to bring this book to life. The performance was great. I am giving And She Was Never the Same Again: A Multigenerational Memoir a very well deserved five plus stars. I highly recommend it for readers who have experienced grief, loss, tragedy, and life struggles. I no doubt they will find hope and healing they have been seeking.
I received a paperback copy of Natasha Pryde Trujillo PhD’s And She Was Never the Same Again: A Multigenerational Memoir from the publisher, but was not required to write a positive review. This review is one hundred percent my own honest opinion.
Dr. Trujillo’s vulnerability is palpable and cannot be adequately expressed in words. And She Was Never The Same Again offers readers an invaluable opportunity to connect with her mind and allows us to challenge the ways in which grief flows throughout our lives. Through her stories, readers will gain a deeper understanding of the complexities of grief and how it can impact our lives in profound ways.
And She Was Never the Same Again is a unique and profound way of approaching the shadows of grief and loss. Dr. Trujillo brings a human side to loss that echoes often the pain our hearts feel but cannot say. She also allows our hearts to rest knowing we are not alone in the pain, joy, grief, and loss that life brings us so unexpectedly.
And She Was Never The Same Again is a powerful memoir that takes the reader on a journey deep into the intimate moments of loss and transformation experienced by Dr. Natasha Pryde Trujillo and her family. This intriguing memoir captures the essence of how personal tragedies, rather than breaking us, can shape the very core of who we are, inspiring readers with the resilience of the human spirit.
Dr. Trujillo skillfully narrates the pain of her own losses, weaving them together with the struggles and heartaches of her ancestors. Her candid storytelling creates a heart-wrenching and deeply relatable emotional tapestry. The memoir has the ability to evoke strong empathy, making it resonate with anyone who has faced the inevitable trials of life.
The work is well-written and thought-provoking. It brought tears to my eyes more than once.
This memoir has a universal appeal. Everyone can relate to the shared experience of loss, and Dr. Trujillo’s raw, unfiltered exploration of her own pain makes the book not just a story but a journey of healing and understanding. And She Was Never The Same Again is a touching reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and how our past shapes our present.
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